just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
