woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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