Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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