I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
