Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
