After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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