Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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