I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
