I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
