just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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