how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
