That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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