8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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