Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
