The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
