with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
