All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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