I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
