Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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