so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
