I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Porn is love you can see.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
