I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
