Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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