i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
