You can't special order awesome
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
