White coat. Heels.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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