I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
