WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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