and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
