im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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