yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
