Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
