hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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