somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mouth tastes like poor choices
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
