i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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