I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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