There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
