You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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