I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Small penises have feelings too.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
