call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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