we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
