Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
