so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
