I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Randomize
