what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
