Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
did i walk over a car last night?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
