In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
