Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize