sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
