Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
