Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
