marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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