There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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