you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
